Wednesday, February 20, 2008


I know I said I'd update my blog more regularily but I have a good excuse for not posting in awhile. My wife and two daughters didn't feel it was enough to have a family made up of 75% females so another daughter was introduced on Saturday. Now that the girls outnumber me 4 to 1, I'm hopelessly outgunned.

Baby Lily says, "Hi"

Mom and baby are doing fine and I've taken a few weeks off of work to help with the little one. I haven't been this sleep deprived since the academy but all will be well.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Birthday Surprise

Emergency call: "Vehicle on fire, people possibly trapped inside."
I activate my lights and sirens and dash to the scene of a potentially life threatening situation.

From several blocks away I can see a column of black smoking rising. I hope the occupants are out of the car but brace myself for the worst.

I arrive to find a crowd of people gathered around the burning vehicle. The fire department is dousing the flames and everyone inside has gotten out safely.

Through the smoke and steam I see the prancing horse logo on a yellow background indicating what type of car this is: A Ferrari.

As the crowd swells, I see people cheering, laughing, dancing and taking pictures with camera phones. Not since O.J. was found not-guilty have I seen such an elated outpouring of sheer joy and excitement from the common man. The low income citizens in the crowd were in a near frenzied riot of happiness. They slapped high fives, raised double fists in victory, and jumped around as if they'd won the lottery. It was a clear example of how some people revel in the defeat of others (especially the wealthy).

I was told by the driver it was his birthday and a wealthy former NFL player loaned him the $150,000 Ferrari convertible to celebrate his special day. The celebration, however, was a bit different than he expected.


Here's a computer message sent to officers to BOLO "Be On Look Out" for an armed robbery suspect. I put up with a lot for my job but I'm not going to touch a gun after it's been in some guy's butthole or is covered in human excrement:

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Lost and Found

Most honest people know if an item of value is found, it is their duty to turn it in to police. I've seen countless good samaritans bring in purses, wallets, jewelry, and even cash. We are happy to accept these items and make every attempt to locate the rightful owners. Although we encourage people to turn in found property and unwanted itmes such as firearms or ammunition, there are some things we are less than pleased to accept.

A few weeks ago an elderly man was cleaning out his storage shed and found a box of old electrical looking things. He didn't know what to do with them so he walked into our precinct and handed over the box to the desk aid. She placed it on the counter in the main area of our building and waited for an officer to properly impound the items. I was in the middle of briefing with my squad when a Lieutenant burst in and commanded, "Everyone out! We're evacuating the building immediately." As officers and support personnel emptied out of the building we were told of the contents of the box brought in by the old man: Blasting Caps.

These devices are small explosives used to detonate larger explosives like TNT. The blasting caps themselves are dangerous because they can explode when in contact with fire, electricty, or impact. We had to wait outside until the bomb squad arrived to safely remove the small explosives.

Another helpful citizen was hiking in a nearby mountain preserve. After summiting on a very popular trail, he decided to do a little exploring off the beaten path. He strolled through the desert scrub looking for different plants and wildlife when he stumbled upon a more rare item; A human jawbone.

Instead of marking the location and notifying police of a potential homicide crime scene he picked up the jawbone, wrapped it in his fleece jacket and drove to the police precinct to deliver his find. We took possession of the bone but prompted the man to lead us to the spot on the mountain where he found it.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Tips for Burglar Alarm Owners

If you have valuables in your home like jewelry, computers, or electronics, it may be a good idea to install a burglar alarm. That way, if you're away and someone breaks into your home, the alarm company will dispatch police to investigate.

When we arrive at a house with a tripped alarm and see a broken window or open door, it is our duty to enter the home and try to catch any burglars in the act.

TIP#1: If the 'valuables' you are trying to protect are drugs, cash, and guns, a monitored burglar alarm may not be such a great idea.

Why? Well, after officers enter the home to ensure nobody's inside, what do you think happens when we see drugs, pipes, marijuana plants, sawed-off shotguns, and bundles of cash lying around in plain view?

Just ask the 36 year old woman that drove up to her house to find it full of cops looking for a burglar.

"What's going on?", she asks.
"Do you live here?"
"Yes, this is my house" (wrong answer)
"Turn around and put your hands behind your back."

TIP #2: If you are going to rush home after the alarm company calls your cell phone and tells you police are on the way to investigate a break-in, you might want to rid yourself of the baggies of Meth, the handgun, and the large wad of cash in your pockets before you ask the police, "What's going on?"

TIP #3: What if you are a drug dealer and want to protect your contraband, illegal weapons, and bundles of cash from your drug-using customers or rival drug dealers? I recommend a secure fence, dead bolt locks, metal security doors and maybe a vicious dog or two. I've also heard it may be helpful to quit smoking crack and pursue a high school education in order to find a legitimate way to make a living.