Monday, February 04, 2008

Tips for Burglar Alarm Owners

If you have valuables in your home like jewelry, computers, or electronics, it may be a good idea to install a burglar alarm. That way, if you're away and someone breaks into your home, the alarm company will dispatch police to investigate.

When we arrive at a house with a tripped alarm and see a broken window or open door, it is our duty to enter the home and try to catch any burglars in the act.

TIP#1: If the 'valuables' you are trying to protect are drugs, cash, and guns, a monitored burglar alarm may not be such a great idea.

Why? Well, after officers enter the home to ensure nobody's inside, what do you think happens when we see drugs, pipes, marijuana plants, sawed-off shotguns, and bundles of cash lying around in plain view?

Just ask the 36 year old woman that drove up to her house to find it full of cops looking for a burglar.

"What's going on?", she asks.
"Do you live here?"
"Yes, this is my house" (wrong answer)
"Turn around and put your hands behind your back."

TIP #2: If you are going to rush home after the alarm company calls your cell phone and tells you police are on the way to investigate a break-in, you might want to rid yourself of the baggies of Meth, the handgun, and the large wad of cash in your pockets before you ask the police, "What's going on?"

TIP #3: What if you are a drug dealer and want to protect your contraband, illegal weapons, and bundles of cash from your drug-using customers or rival drug dealers? I recommend a secure fence, dead bolt locks, metal security doors and maybe a vicious dog or two. I've also heard it may be helpful to quit smoking crack and pursue a high school education in order to find a legitimate way to make a living.


At February 04, 2008 2:36 PM, Blogger Murphy said...


whoopsie, huh.

At February 04, 2008 4:03 PM, Blogger Teri Kathleen said...

Oh! That's hilarious! I am so glad that a friend pointed me to your blog!

At February 04, 2008 5:28 PM, Blogger Moe said...


At February 04, 2008 9:15 PM, Blogger Angie said...


At February 05, 2008 8:24 AM, Blogger 5150Wife said...

tee hee hee. Dontcha just love stupid criminals?

At February 05, 2008 9:23 AM, Blogger Thomas said...

As I always tell my students, There are no smart criminals because smart people don't break the law.

Unfortunately the person you describe resembles the parents of 50% of my students.
One student told me just last week that his father is in jail because of the family business, which just happens to be drug dealing.

Go figure


At February 05, 2008 2:54 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...


Priceless, simply priceless!

At February 06, 2008 10:57 AM, Blogger Lyle said...

after she was cuffed, you guys should have asked her to call her supplier so that he could come pick up his stash before it was confiscated by the police permanently.

this brain surgeon probably would have done it.

At February 06, 2008 5:46 PM, Blogger crazyrn2be said...

Oh how funny! Love it!

At February 09, 2008 6:46 PM, Blogger Liz said...

What a great case to have fall in your lap. What fun!


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