7 Things to Be Thankful For

This is the time of year when we all give thanks. In case you're having trouble coming up with some blessings of your own, here are 7 things I've come across recently:

1. Be thankful you don't have to stand in front of wall in a vacant lot everyday at sunset to soak up the sun's setting rays for "longer life":


2. Be thankful if you don't end up in the county jail's rubber-walled safe room with amenities such as the hole in the floor toilet system:

3. Be thankful you're not compelled to decorate the trunk of your car with a cryptic message about dating and a bitter divorce:

4. Be thankful your drunk girlfriend doesn't always throw a 24 ounce drinking glass at your face requiring 20 stitches to close the gaping hole in your cheek. (Also be thankful if same boyfriend doesn't retaliate by fracturing your nose with a punch to the face). Both went to the hospital together and then to the county jail for domestic violence assault but promised to mend their differences with a nice trip to Las Vegas.

5. Be thankful you're not the franchise owner of this Long John Silvers restaurant that was stripped of every ounce of copper wiring, pipe, and fixtures. And to keep with their destructive talents, the theives smashed all the toilets, sinks, and equipment for kicks:

6. Be thankful you're permitted to express your artistic talents by painting your house in even the most hideous of colors:

7. And one we can all relate to -Be thankful you don't drive a 1976 Cadillac as your life may soon be in jeopardy: