Tuesday, November 20, 2007

7 Things to Be Thankful For

This is the time of year when we all give thanks. In case you're having trouble coming up with some blessings of your own, here are 7 things I've come across recently:

1. Be thankful you don't have to stand in front of wall in a vacant lot everyday at sunset to soak up the sun's setting rays for "longer life":

2. Be thankful if you don't end up in the county jail's rubber-walled safe room with amenities such as the hole in the floor toilet system:

3. Be thankful you're not compelled to decorate the trunk of your car with a cryptic message about dating and a bitter divorce:

4. Be thankful your drunk girlfriend doesn't always throw a 24 ounce drinking glass at your face requiring 20 stitches to close the gaping hole in your cheek. (Also be thankful if same boyfriend doesn't retaliate by fracturing your nose with a punch to the face). Both went to the hospital together and then to the county jail for domestic violence assault but promised to mend their differences with a nice trip to Las Vegas.
5. Be thankful you're not the franchise owner of this Long John Silvers restaurant that was stripped of every ounce of copper wiring, pipe, and fixtures. And to keep with their destructive talents, the theives smashed all the toilets, sinks, and equipment for kicks:

6. Be thankful you're permitted to express your artistic talents by painting your house in even the most hideous of colors:

7. And one we can all relate to -Be thankful you don't drive a 1976 Cadillac as your life may soon be in jeopardy:


At November 20, 2007 5:19 PM, Blogger Ricard said...

Hi Gary! I live in Spain, near Barcelona, and I discovered your blog yesterday, and I've been reading it since then, I actually finished it a few moments ago. I was thankful for the great quality of your prose, which gave me a great insight into the life of a US police officer while giving me a few laughs along the way and some moments of sadness. I especially enjoyed the first entries, while you were at the academy, the day you forgot your uniform (poor you!), the typical american harshness. It was great to get to know about the everyday life of an officer. As Spiderman's wife would say "go get them, tiger!" (the criminals, I mean)


At November 20, 2007 6:21 PM, Blogger *Goddess* said...

Way cool paint job on that house...LOL! There really are rednecks in every state.

At November 21, 2007 6:20 PM, Blogger Aileen said...

Have a Happy and safe holiday.

At November 24, 2007 10:05 AM, Blogger Officer Wright said...

Rubber rooms are the best!

At November 24, 2007 1:56 PM, Blogger 5150Wife said...

I lived in So. Cal. for 13 years and never did get used to those houses. I sure don't miss 'em.

Happy belated Thanksgiving!

At November 27, 2007 3:58 PM, Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I am very thankful!

And the color of that house is just awful beyond words.


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