Oh boy

I responded to a call from a guy complaining about receiving threats from a neighbor. I arrived at a low-income apartment complex. As I approach the complainant's apartment, I see a note tacked to the door at eye level (click on picture to enlarge). I read the posted warning and anticipate a lively and intelligent conversation will soon take place with the resident inside.

I knock and am greeted by a tall man about 25 years old with corduroy shorts pulled up to his rib cage and a short sleeve dress shirt buttoned all the way to his adam's apple. The shirt is tucked neatly into his shorts. The ensemble is gracefully capped off with striped knee-high running socks and brandless shoes.

"What kind of threats did he make to you?" I ask.
"He's been bothering me for a few days. He just bothers me a lot."

Then he tells me he wants his neighbor arrested.
"What for?", I ask.
"Suspicion of drugs", he replies.
"Can you proove he is in possession of drugs?", I say.
"Yeah, he's on drugs right now. -If you go in his apartment, you could find some."

I try to explain probable cause, hearsay, evidence, privacy, and the fourth amendment to the Constitution of the United States that addresses unlawful search and seizure.
After some effort, I am able to make him understand that the most I can do is try to talk to his neighbor. He tells me that would be fine and adds as I walk away, "Tell him to compromise."

I walk across the courtyard to his neighbor's apartment. Of course, he too, has a note tacked on his front door. I didn't take a picture but it read: 'Please come around to bathroom window.' I ignore the note and knock loudly on his door. After a delay, a short, chubby man opens the door holding a towel around his waist. He is dripping wet and has soap lathered all around his large hairy belly and clumps of shampoo in his hair. Afraid of the pending slip of the towel, I quickly tell him to leave his neighbor alone and begin to leave. He starts telling me his life story with this neighbor (how they used to be friends, etc) and the towel is ready to drop. "Thanks for working it out", I say and quickly make my escape.