More Jail Humor

County Sheriff Joe Arpio is known to many as "America's Toughest Sheriff." From issuing pink underwear to inmates to housing them in sweltering army tents in the summer heat, he knows how to antagonize prisoners. Inside the county jail (which takes in all of the prisoners from the surrounding cities) he makes sure the inmates are aware of him. As prisoners are brought in, they are fingerprinted and photographed. During the photograph, they are told to look up and focus on the framed picture of Sheriff Joe hung just under two large cameras.

This is their first reminder of who's in charge before being escorted to a holding cell to await an appearance before a judge.

The other day, I was riding with a squadmate and a guy in a truck started to merge over into our lane nearly hitting our patrol car. We pulled him over just to give him a warning and make sure he had valid license and insurance. I entered his info into the computer and heard the tell-tale beeping of an outstanding felony warrant. He was wanted for aggravated assault and had a $9,000 bond. He was shocked when we arrested him and insisted he already 'took care' of the assualt charge. I asked if the charges were dismissed and he replied, "Well, I went to court and was told everything was okay." I asked if he had an paperwork from the court verifying this and he said, "No, I just thought it was taken care of." He'll probably check his mirrors better next time he wants to merge.

What's the best way to get caught while driving intoxicated? How about slam into the back of a police car while it's red and blue overhead lights are flashing? That's what this guy did on Sunday. A police car was stopped and getting ready to make a u-turn when Mister blood-alcohol content of 1.65 rear-ended him. The legal limit is .08 and .15 is considered 'extreme DUI'. This collision will end up costing several thousand dollars in fines, attorneys, and possibly jail time. I stayed at the scene waiting for a tow truck while my partner took the drunk to be processed. I rode to the police station with the tow truck driver who admitted, "I'll be honest with you -I drive drunk; but I always look out for cops so I don't get caught or get in wrecks." Nice, just the kind of thing you like to hear from commercial tow truck operators.