Here's a few delightful an encounters I wanted to share with you:
I was driving around the back side of a supermarket and spotted a man in his 30's standing behind a trash dumpster. His pants were down around his ankles and he was slightly crouched and bent forward. He looked right at me but made no attempt to conceal his nudity. I picked up the microphone for my patrol car loudspeaker and commanded him, "PULL UP YOUR PANTS AND GET OUT OF HERE.."
He was probably half way through a bowel movement when I pulled up and he didn't know if he could reverse its direction or just let it fall -he chose the latter.
A few seconds later a large turd dropped from his rear onto the ground. He then pulled up his pants, climbed onto his bike and rode away. I think he was in a hurry to finish the job elsewhere.
Speaking of illegal dumping; Can you guess what's under the tarp?
Look closely and you will see a pair of hooved legs protruding. If you guessed 'horse' you're right. When this guy's horse died in his backyard, he thought he'd take the opportunity to share it with the neighborhood. So, he hooked it up to his truck, dragged it through his RV gate and left it on the sidewalk so that the blood and other fluids could pool together in the gutter. He probably thought the kids next door would enjoy playing with a super-sized carcass decomposing in the sweltering heat. Even the neighbors a few blocks away were treated to the unusually rich odor.