Saturday, June 10, 2006

Court, Calls, and Care

I made my first court appearance last week regarding a traffic citation I issued for a woman driving with a learner's permit. Her restricted license required another licensed driver to be in the front seat with her (she was alone). She decided to fight the charge and hence, the court date. She went to MVD after I wrote her the ticket and was issued a real driver license. She then went to court and thought this would erase the fact that I caught her driving with the learner's permit. The judge asked her if she was driving alone with a learner's permit on the night I stopped her and she replied, "yes." The case was closed and she was found guilty. She was fined $150 and will possibly have her new driver license suspended.
Calls I did NOT have the pleasure of responding to:
Check Welfare - Adult male lying in the grass; Is double amputee and totally naked on the ground next to wheelchair.

Indecent Exposure- Transient female with short skirt and no underwear exposing herself to children in store parking lot.

Suspicious Vehicle -Two adults engaged in inappropriate activity inside van in Weight Watchers parking lot.

Domestic Violence -son in law removed child booster seat from grandma's car and refuses to re-install it.

Calls I WAS lucky enough to handle:

Found Property -used medical waste strewn on street. Dirty gloves, air tubes, syringes, and other contaminated materials discarded on public street.

Trespasser -70 year old man wearing nothing but underwear harassing customers of restaurant about CIA assassination cover up scandal involving his distant, distant, distant, relative Hillary Clinton.

Threat -letter sent to State Bar ranting about a Utah Senator giving nuclear warheads to whoever asks for them and how Utah police are paid $17,000 for each bullet fired into human tissue.

Threat -report from case worker about bipolar client who had visions of harming her former coworkers because her cat died and she was recently denied Social Security disability payments.

I honed my budding detective skills the other day when a non-English speaking hispanic shoplifter told me his name was Francisco Xavier Delgado. I called the police records and identification bureau who was unable to find any information about a person with that name. He had no identification on him but had a set of car keys with a grocery rewards card. I called the store and asked them to verify the name and address of the cardholder. They promised to leave a message for me at the police precinct. All the while, Mr. "Delgado" starting acting nervous and finally admitted his real name and birth date. His real name was confirmed by the grocery store manager. He didn't have any warrants outstanding and was only lying to make the arrest difficult. In addition to the misdemeanor shoplifting charge, I added a charge of False Reporting to Law Enforcement.

Free medical care, courtesy of the City: What should you do if you overdose on heroin and become comatose? Just ask the drug addict who did this last week. He had a friend call for help. Eight firemen, two fire trucks, and one police officer later, and he was quickly treated for his self-induced condition. After injecting a dose of NARCAN, the effects of the heroin were neutralized and he almost instantly recovered. He was taking about three breaths per minute when we arrived and was few minutes from certain death. And what was the cost of this rapid response and treatment? ..Nothing. That's right, if someone injures you, expect to pay through the nose to receive medical treatment. But if you're smart enough to nearly kill yourself with an illegal substance, your medical care is free. Thank you, taxpayers.


At June 11, 2006 11:27 AM, Blogger andrea said...

Funny!! But you know those two in the weight watchers parking lot were just couple of fatties who were scarfing down some food after they got weighed in at their meeting!!


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