Crazy, Rich and Scared Silly

Apologies to anyone who's checking this blog on a regular basis. Gary has neglected it a bit lately. I will fill in with a few somewhat entertaining stories on his behalf.

First, let's discuss the state's mentally ill contingent. "Why is everyone so crazy?" is one rhetorical question Gary has asked a time or two. While mental illness is a true tragedy, it can also be fairly entertaining -- particularly for a rookie cop. Last night, he was called to the apartment of a gentleman who was blasting Bon Jovi music out his open apartment doors and windows, much to the chagrin of his angry neighbors who called 911. When asked to turn his music down, the man was insistent that it was "doctor's orders" for his "psychosis treatment." He refused to turn it down and almost had to be taken to jail! Then there was a guy who had to be visited after making lewd calls to the 911 dispatcher. When Gary and Mike arrived at this guy's apartment, he was very calm and unapoligetic. "Officers, I simply stated the truth, which is that there are babies masturbating on the floor." Ooookay.

Then there are the richie-riches. These are the people who think the law doesn't apply to them cause they have money. When Gary and Mike pulled over a guy in a BMW convertible with suspended plates about a week ago, they suddenly looked up to find he was running away. They called for the police helicopter then found a full freezer-sized bag of Meth on the ground next to the car. They never did find him. His car was impounded, and most likely, he'll never get it back cause he'll be too scared the cops will be there to bust him. There is some justice in this world. There was also a kid who ran a red light in a tricked-out Land Rover his dad bought him. When Gary ran his license, he found that it was suspended and that the kid has just gotten out of jail the day prior for a series of drug convictions. And why didn't his parents confiscate his car? And who could forget the person who parked in a handicapped parking spot with their fancy Mercedes? Not Gary -- he wrote his first parking ticket and proudly placed it on the windshield of this person to whom rules don't apply.

Last, there is a funny story involving some very frightened teenagers. Gary and his new training officer, Dan, got a call that a armed robbery suspect was traveling in their direction. They took the description of the vehicle and began "looking around." All of a sudden -- JACKPOT -- Gary spotted the vehicle. He and his partner followed the car into a neighborhood with lights on, and jumped out of their police cruiser with guns raised! The driver of the truck quickly admitted his guilt -- "We've been driving around throwing grapefruit at our friends' houses," the scared teen said. Gary confirmed a huge load of citrus in the bed of the truck and quickly realized this was a case of mistaken identity. I bet those kids will think twice the next time they want to go TP'ing!